The Compliance and Value Model
Fundamental concepts and tools for increasing perceived value and driving interactions with women to higher levels
Value is of utmost importance in your interactions with women.
It determines how willing a woman is to meet up with you,
it determines a woman's level of physical attraction for you, and ultimately, value
determines how far a woman will go just to be in your life. Naturally, I get many
questions from people asking me how they can increase their value:
"Do I raise my value through DHV storytelling, do I lower
her value through negs and indifference or do I use push / pull or what?"
Firstly you must realize that value is almost entirely based on perception.
That's right. The only value that actually exists is inside the minds of the people around you.
Sure there are things that society says is valuable, like how much money you make or
what kind of car you drive, and based on society's perception, some level of value
can be assigned to people. But it is still just perception.
What I am going to present to you today is a fundamental model of value. What I mean is,
this model determines the effect that other value-shifting techniques will have when they are used.
Value shifters like stories containing DHV spikes and negs as well as social value cues like
cocky humor and peacocking are all subject to this fundamental concept.
This means that all of the abovementioned techniques will work perfectly when you have
this fundamental concept down, and will fall absolutely flat if you do not.
How compliance relates to value
The term compliance is used to measure the
willingness a girl has to do something with you or for you. In short, getting a girl to talk to you
when you approach her requires some level of compliance. Getting a girl to buy you drink requires
a little bit more compliance, and of course getting a girl to the
point where she is open to having sex with you requires even more.
Compliance is directly proportional to value. The higher your perceived value, the more compliance
you will naturally get from a woman. The higher you perceive a woman's value, the more compliant you will
be to her, automatically.
Let me illustrate the fundamental nature compliance has with relation to value. If you tell a story
about something off-the-wall that happened when you were chillin' at the Playboy Mansion, it can quite
potentially be a demonstration of higher value. Let's say you use this Playboy Mansion DHV,
but then she tests you by asking you to hold her drink while she dances, and you oblige. Your entire story
is now negated. Since compliance is more fundamental than a story, she is perceiving your value
based on the former.
If instead of holding her drink, you instead explain that you might meet up with her later, then
you would have been congruent and retained the value from the story. In fact, you could have been
having a conversation with her about the mating patterns of the blue-jay in New England, and you would
still have higher value. The Value-Compliance relationship is fundamental.
Here is where it gets interesting. The compliance scales are different for men and women.
Typically, men seek compliance based in replication value. That is, they are out to get a woman's
sexual value. They want to be close to a woman, touch her, kiss her and have sex with her.
Women on the other hand, seek compliance based in survival value. Traditionally, women
have urges toward getting protection, shared living space, and financial support from men.
In fact, if you look at the nearly extinct paradigm of dating and marriage, and make two bars
representing a man and a woman's compliance scales, the relationship becomes very clear. (Fig. 1a)
Here I have made two bars, each representing a man and woman's relative values. The height of the
bar represents their perceived value. (The man and woman have equal value in this diagram) The tick
marks along the side represent the levels of compliance that are available for each person. In this diagram,
the man has potential to get sex from the woman, and the woman has potential to get marriage from the man.
I know some of you are laughing as you realize that most women don't
wait until marriage to have sex. That's fine. This model is just
an illustration of the compliance scales of men and women that everyone
can relate to. We'll get into some common scenarios and practical
application a little later.
Actually, this diagram is rather generous. In our society, the issue is further confused by the
idea that a man must 'win over' a woman with a diamond ring in order to marry her - A frame of mind like
that leaves a man with such little perceived value!
Keep in mind, the actual compliance levels are quite arbitrary. I have
labeled them for illustration, but in general just remember that
a woman seeks compliance related to her immediate survival and the
immediate survival of her family, while a man seeks compliance related
to genetic survival and accessing a healthy, beautiful woman's genes
through sex. So we will see women chasing things like emotional
strength, leadership and wealth, and we will see men chasing things
like pretty faces and hot bodies.
Evolution has created this situation
for us.
Mutual Compliance Escalation
When a man and a woman meet, and become involved with each other, they take turns being compliant
to each other.
A man approaches a woman, she in turn gives him attention and talks
to him. He asks her a few questions to screen her, she then complies
and answers. He complies by qualifying her with a nice compliment.
He asks her to go window shopping with him and she agrees, etc.
On and on you go until you have reached full compliance from the woman. Unfortunately most men
never even achieve full compliance from a woman, yet surrender their own full compliance all the time.
It is a common mistake to believe that the more compliance you give, the more you will get from a
woman and the more she will be attracted to you.
So, a man and a woman go back and forth escalating compliance in a mutual way from one rung of the ladder to the next.
You can see it illustrated in Fig 1b:
Keep in mind this is not to be confused with Mutual Value Escalation,
which instead means raising the levels of both of your value bars
relative to the people around you via leadership, future adventure
projections, teamwork / role playing frames and dominance over others.
In order to move to the next level of compliance, two things are necessary. Firstly, you need perceived value of at least
the same level or higher than the girl. Your value creates attraction and a willingness to comply.
The second thing you need is comfort and trust. After all, women don't go around sleeping with every guy
that has higher value than them.
The purpose of comfort and trust is so the girl feels safe knowing that
the compliance escalation will continue after her current action. Both of these are needed in proportion to the level
of the request you are making. Being compliant to her requests is one way of developing comfort and trust, but it
is recommended to only comply with small requests that you don't mind fulfilling. Hold off on complying to the large requests
at first, since it has potential to be quite detrimental to your value. Take your time with the escalation and be sure to go through
the full process of screening and qualification (both false and genuine).
Attraction is the result of withheld compliance. Whatever compliance
a girl feels she deserves but doesn't yet have, produces attraction
to you, the source of value. Screening and qualification is what
makes her feel as though your compliance is worth pursuing. The
best way to engage a girl, therefore is to demonstrate high value
and produce relevant qualification.
A couple other things are worth mention. Asking a person to do something, and having them reject you
puts your value into flux. (We'll talk about value flux a little later, when we discuss application)
When a person declines your compliance request, it is not necessarily because they perceive your value as being low
it it usually just because they aren't sure what your value is yet. Look at a rejection as an opportunity.
When your request is rejected, your value is in flux, and it is an opportunity for you to define it
with your subsequent actions.
For instance, if you go to kiss a girl, and she rejects you, it's not necessarily because she
perceives your value as being low. It is simply because she's not sure. If you go and try to
kiss her again, right away, you may lose some points with her. If you get angry or upset, or
otherwise deflated or thrown off your game, you will certainly lose value. If, on the other hand
you are cool and nonchalant about it, or you humorously tease her and joke about it, your perceived
value will increase. At that point, you can safely try again at a later time and your chances
of getting the kiss will have improved.
Orbiters and Let's Just Be Friends (LJBF)
Let's look at the special case where the man has lower perceived value than the woman. (Fig. 2a)
Notice that sex is completely out of reach.
No matter what a man does, he cannot
get a woman of much higher value to comply to having sex with him. As a result,
a woman will usually tell him "Let's just be friends." He becomes one of her
many 'orbiters' and continues to fight a battle leading nowhere. In fact, there is both
an instinctual and societal motivation for women to lure the men in their lives
into this type of role. After all, evolutionarily, this meant more men to help raise
the children she was having with the alpha male.
Realize however, that depending on how high the value is, the orbiter will be able
to get some kind of compliance from the woman, even if it isn't full-on sex. In Fig. 2a, you can
see that this fellow can get a kiss from her every now and then. How sweet.
Also, it doesn't mean he has to marry her to get a kiss. It is sufficient that she
already knows she could get married to the guy, if she were so inclined.
That is why the concept of the 'no-challenge' switch is so important. The woman
has these men at her disposal for whatever survival value she wishes to take from them:
Companionship, dates, spending money, backup for her real boyfriend, everything is fair game.
Players and Fuck-Buddy (FB) Relationships
Just as common as women who collect orbiters, there are guys who sleep
around with many different women, no strings attached.
Let's examine Fig. 2b.
Notice that marriage is completely out of reach.
There is nothing this woman can do to get this guy to marry her. In fact, in this
this guy probably isn't going to be exclusive with her. Basically, all this
guy has to do is show up, talk to her and give her some good emotions, and she
will have sex with him. Hence the term "Fuck-Buddy". She does however have
a chance at getting dinner every once in a while, so we can call this example
an "upgraded" FB relationship.
Unlike women, who have both instinctual and societal motivations to lower the perceived
value of their mates, for men it is merely instinctual. Societal programming tends to motivate
men into beta-provider type roles. Look around and you'll see evidence everywhere.
Deep down, our genes are telling us otherwise.
Most men, whether they admit to it or not, would love to have a few different sex partners
that they aren't committed to. After all, what kind of man doesn't like sexual variety?
From an evolutionary standpoint, these are the women that will bear his children,
as he proliferates his genes.
The interesting thing is, looking at Fig. 2b, we realize that this is still a traditional mindset.
The escalation of compliance levels still leads to marriage. Players in this society still
usually get married if they find the "right" woman. They are searching for that one
woman who has high enough value or good enough game to get them to make a commitment.
Once a man has a few girls who cater to his every need, it becomes less exciting. There's no more challenge
and nothing left to chase. What both sexes want ultimately, is high levels of compliance from high value people.
In addition, the fact that sex is so high on a woman's scale of compliance is both an outdated traditional model
and unacceptable for our purposes.
In fact, I will go so far to say that the true fundamental goal of a real pickup
artist is to lower the effective compliance of sex, and move it lower on the scale.
Tools and Application
Reverse Supplication Levels
What many guys realize as they become better with women, is that
sex isn't necessarily at the very top of a woman's compliance scale.
We've all seen women who do everything for their men. They
buy them gifts, cook them dinner and clean their apartments. There are women
who would practically die for their men.
We also know about pimps who have their hoes out on the streetcorner, every
night making money for them. These women are selling their bodies to
strangers to earn money so that their men are taken care of.
Talk about a high level of compliance!
At first, it may seem completely unreal to ever have women that
compliant to you. After all, there are many guys who cannot even
get their girlfriends to call have sex with them!
It turns out to be quite easy, actually, and is based
on a few simple dynamics. There are all kinds of levels of compliance
that reside beyond sex, leading up to full compliance which is
defined as willingness to either die for a man or commit her life
to his cause. Prostitution fits this basic definition close enough.
The levels that reside beyond sex leading all the way up to prostitution
are called the reverse supplication levels. I have defined reverse
supplication as a man receiving survivial-type compliance from a woman.
Inserting the reverse supplication levels into a woman's compliance scale gives
us Fig. 3a.
As you can see I have filled in some examples into the reverse supplication
levels. Dinner, clothing, a new car, all the way leading up to prostitution.
Playing at that level is pimp game and I'm not interested in that
right now. Between sex and prostitution is a very real region, of
which holds many interesting possibilities.
Just the simple acknowledgment of these levels lowers the effective compliance of sex.
Bringing these levels into existence by reaching for them will make
sex come that much easier. Value is only perception, and if you
are overshooting the goal of sex by making larger requests,
you can be perceived as having extremely high value.
In other words, if all you want is sex, the best way to
get it, is to simply set your sights BEYOND it.
- Ask a girl to write you a poem or draw you a picture
- Ask her what kind of girls she likes before you've even slept with her
- Assume you're going to sleep with other girls in her social circle before you've even slept with her
- Find out if she has any connections to club owners and tell her you'd like VIP access
Keep in mind, you aren't taking value from others, you are merely increasing
your own perceived value, such that everything you give is appreciated to a higher degree.
It will make everything you do that much more powerful. People will be more likely to listen
to you, more likely to laugh at your jokes and more likely to try to get rapport with you.
I won't go too far into this here, but the basic formula for escalating compliance
is to take it one small step at a time. We aren't talking a few dates, this stuff
can take months. Compliance is pliable. When you have a woman at breaking
point and push her threshold, her maximum level of compliance increases.
Another key is making it fun and worthwhile for a woman to do these things.
Make your requests that are related to your identity. If you are a chef, have her
pick up some groceries so you can prepare a romantic dinner. If you are an artist,
have her pick up a new set of brushes, and let her watch you create a masterpiece.
Build a lifestyle in which the two of you can share.
Though this article is only a small portion of my entire reverse supplication
method, it is still powerful enough to warrant two points of caution.
Firstly, do not use this method for abuse. Women do these things
because they love us and care for us. Don't run this on a poor college
girl, and don't run it on a woman you aren't willing to be straight
with. Use it carefully to develop your lifestyle and enhance the
experiences that you share together. Secondly, don't ever become
so dependent that you lose responsibility for yourself. If it ever
gets to the point that you cannot maintain your finances or keep
your apartment clean all by yourself, you'll be in trouble. Trust
me on this one.
Set High Expectations
When it comes to value, nothing beats having high expectations
of other people and putting a price on yourself.
So many guys are willing to sacrifice their own best interests
in order to make a girl happy, or to get together with her. Don't go
driving two hours out of the way just to see her, don't ditch your buddies to hang out
with her, and don't volunteer to buy her dinner if you've just met her.
In addition, you should expect women to respect you
and treat you well. If you compliment a woman, expect
her to respond positively to it. Many guys fail with compliments
because they don't hold her to high expectations and instead continue to
be nice to her after she has disrespected them by ignoring the compliment.
Make a woman commit to giving you full attention when you are communicating
with her, whether it be in person, on the phone or even in a chat
room. Also be willing to walk away if she doesn't meet your standards.
There are plenty of women that will. Most of the time a willingness
to walk will only help you, and draw them in closer.
The best way to punish bad behavior is with indifference. Any reaction
whatsoever is actually a reward, because it telegraphs your emotional
investment. Sometimes it helps to make it absolutely clear what she did wrong
in a dominant, (not angry) voice, and then follow it with indifference, both
physical and verbal.
Value Flux and Reward Calibration
There are times in an interaction with a woman when your value is in flux.
That is, your value has no definition. Realize that this is not necessarily
a bad thing but rather an opportunity to define it.
The first situation that causes value flux was mentioned above - it is when
you make a compliance request. For example you try to kiss her, and she either
obliges or rejects you. Your value is then defined by your reaction to it.
The second situation is when a girl displays good behavior. That is,
she does something to indicate a higher level of compliance then where
she was at previously. For example: she calls you, she follows you as you lead
her around the club, or she buys you a new pair of shoes. These are all
examples of good behavior.
Good behavior should never be punished, except in small amounts. In
general it should be rewarded. Sometimes punishing good behavior
in small amounts works to confuse her and obsess about you. Major
jumps in positive compliance in her part should be rewarded.
But how should her good behavior be rewarded?
Let's take a look at Figure 4a which illustrates what happens when a woman does something
good, and your value is in flux.
In this example, the woman has kissed you. In general this behavior
is in the right direction and should be rewarded. There is a wide
range of ways to do this, but keep in mind, your reward will define
your value, and therefore how she responds to you in the future.
Let's say after the kiss, you decide to make her your girlfriend
and be exclusive to her. See Figure 4b.
So the girl kisses you, and you decide to be exclusive to her. You
start the "relationship talk" and tell her you've decided that
you only want to see her. Bad move. It would probably result
in her telling you to take a hike, unless she's a virgin
and kissing is pretty high on her scale anyway.
Since exclusivity is pretty high on your compliance scale,
transposing your value bar so that it lines up with kissing
would result in an extremely low perceived value.
Ok let's see what happens instead if you merely
give her a compliment after she has kissed you. Take a look at
Figure 4c.
As we see there, rewarding her kiss with a simple compliment goes a lot further.
You will create a much higher perceived value for yourself, and in the process
increase your chances of more positive responses in the future.
By creating a large amount of perceived value, you present yourself
as a challenge to be overcome. A woman will realize that her efforts
will be both appreciated and at the same time, it will be an interesting
chase.
Previously I mentioned that it is the ultimate goal to lower
the effective level of sexual compliance. That is, get it as low as possible
on the compliance scale. Using these concepts, it shouldn't be very difficult.
Eventually it will get to a point where it hits the bottom and drops off her
scale altogether.
The True Alpha Male
Although both value bars for the man and woman may be high,
through skillful game and correct attitudes, the effective compliance of sex
will eventually drop off the bottom of the woman's bar.
Where does it go once that happens?
To your compliance scale.
Any given interaction between a man and a woman must
appear on either the man or the woman's side. (One party always wants
something a little bit more than the other, no matter how slight the
difference may be) So it may not have a lot of weight, but it is
going to show up on one of the scales.
If you reduce the compliance of sex so much that
it disappears from the woman's bar, it must appear on your side.
This is what happens when you truly become the prize of the interaction.
Figure 5 Illustrates the flipped compliance scales,
where a man is chased for his replication value and his
woman contributes to the bulk of their survival value.
This situation represents a natural and fundamental
scenario of a true alpha male.
This happens when the highest value that a woman can contribute is her energy
and resources, and the highest contribution the man can make is his genes.
This is the difference between a real alpha male and what the general
population believes is alpha. Since most people identify alphas with taking
up space, walking slow and talking very loud, this is a significant improvement.
Keep in mind although full compliance is defined here as prostitution,
it doesn't mean the girls are actually selling themselves at full compliance,
it just means that they would be willing to and their man knows fully
he has that power over them.
While most men are out there struggling just to get the pussy,
you can rise above that. I invite you now to imagine fully what is possible.
Don't set your goals so low that you would be thrilled just to get laid. Realize
the bigger picture of what is possible. Live a lifestyle where women are making
your dreams come true in every area of your life.
In what ways can a woman support your aspirations and contribute to your happiness?
Allow them to bring you excitement and energy, and imagine a life where
they are doing all of this simply for the opportunity to please you sexually.
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